Shut up or share? When to talk about Jesus with a skeptic.

Imagine the following scenario. You find yourself in conversation with a skeptic. This person may be an atheist, a doubter, or a spiritually wounded person. The bottom line: they think differently from you about the Christian faith.

During the conversation, the two of you open up to one another. Suddenly, your skeptical friend begins to share his or her thoughts, reservations, or objections with you. This is the pivotal moment: do you shut up and let your actions do the talking, or do you share your faith overtly?

If you’ve ever participated in one of these conversations, you likely walked away wondering if you made the right choice. 

Were you silent when you should have spoken? 

Did you speak when you should have sympathized?

Thankfully, we are not the first generation of Christians to face this dilemma. We can look back to the first-century church for advice. 

We would do well to learn from Peter’s advice to Gentile Christians living in Asia Minor. He writes, “Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect” (1 Peter 3:15 NIV).

Peter’s audience lived in a pre-Christian society. Unlike us, they did not inhabit a world deeply influenced by Christian beliefs and ethics. As a result, the people around them thought the way they conducted themselves was strange and counter-culture. At times this peculiarity piqued curiosity. At other times, it produced harassment, criticism, and even persecution.

Though Christian beliefs and traditions profoundly influence our society, an ever-increasing number of people do not know the Christian faith. As it turns out, our post-Christian society presents us with many of the same problems 1 Peter’s audience faced. The people around us think the way we conduct ourselves is strange and frequently counter-culture.

As a result of these similarities, we can learn much from Peter’s advice in 1 Peter 3:15. Back to our original question: Should we shut up or share? Peter offers us three pieces of advice.

First, preparation requires us to shut up. 

Peter advises the Gentile Christians to “always be prepared to give an answer.” They lived in a culture that found their way of life perplexing. The call to follow Jesus invited them to value the Kingdom of God’s priorities instead of the kingdom of man’s. 

Like much of the New Testament letters, the Church wrestled over what it meant to follow Jesus. Did Gentile Christians need to become Jews? To what extent could Christians continue living like they did before they came to know Jesus? Many of the issues were contentious, and prominent Church leaders held different positions.

Through all of this, however, Peter insisted that Christians carefully consider the reasons for their faith and conduct. He knew that outsiders might question Christian ethics. While he was convinced that living as a Christian would ultimately prove beneficial to society, Peter wanted the believers to prepare to explain the reasons for their beliefs.

Before we try to share our faith with our skeptical friends, we should carefully prepare ourselves for questions. Why do we hold certain beliefs? Are we sure our behavior reflects Christ? 

Second, share based on their questions.  

Peter wanted his audience to be prepared to answer any question they might face. However, this doesn’t mean he expected them to share the reasons for their faith in every conversation.

Certainly, Peter believed in a time and place for the public proclamation of the gospel. After all, he once preached a sermon through which thousands of people came to know Jesus (Acts 2:41). However, Peter’s advice in this passage is for the interactions when people ask questions.

Conversations with our skeptical friends, whether they are atheists, doubters, or spiritually wounded people, should be based on their questions, not on our desire to demonstrate our intellectual brilliance. 

Their questions should form the basis of our preparation. We do not study our faith for ourselves only, but for our neighbors. Our goal isn’t merely to produce an air-tight argument that will persuade them to our point of view. 

Our goal is to consider our faith from their vantage point. What questions might they ask? What objections will they raise? How might the Christian life seem offensive to them?

The more we can anticipate and entertain our friends’ questions, the more robust our faith will be and the better prepared we will be to converse with them when they ask us questions. In the end, Peter is convinced that this will demonstrate the validity of the Christian faith.

Third, shut up and share like Jesus. 

Peter gives his advice to Christians facing public consequences and potential persecution. When he advises his audience to answer anyone who questions them, he knows the questioner will likely be their adversary. Still, he insists that Christians engage anyone who asks them a question in the same fashion that Jesus engaged those who persecuted him.

To be clear, your conversation with a skeptic will likely never result in your persecution. This observation, however, means we have no excuse to ignore Peter’s advice. All of our encounters with the skeptic should look like Jesus on the cross.

This means that when we shut up, we should shut up like Jesus, who “was led like a lamb to the slaughter, and as a sheep before its shearers is silent, so he did not open his mouth” (Isaiah 53:7). 

We should let our atheist, doubting, and spiritually wounded friends expend their anger and frustration on us without fear of retribution. We must be a place where they can vent about their past experiences and current frustrations. The only way to do this is through our silent empathy. We should stretch out our hands and embrace our friends with the love of God that is willing to die for them in silence.

When following Peter’s advice, we discover our voice only after we die for our friends. Jesus proclaimed the gospel to those who were long imprisoned after His resurrection from death. Even so, we should learn to share with our skeptical friends after we have learned to die for them.

This means our sharing comes after we have spent sufficient time considering their questions. In our silence, we take on their perspective to explore our faith. Why do we believe the way we do? Why do we behave the way we do?

So, when should we talk about Jesus with a skeptic? We should talk to them about Jesus after we have considered their questions. Then, when our skeptical friends ask us about our faith, we should share with them about Jesus. 

Christian, Stop Apologizing!

YouTube sensation and podcaster Ben Shapiro has coined the most inconsiderate phrase:

“Facts don’t care about your feelings.”

While it is impossible to be offended without becoming the target of those words, pastors cannot afford to take such a position. The facts of apologetics are not working against the feelings of a deeply inquisitive culture.

As culture continues to deconstruct any confident claims of existential truth, the church has responded with apologetic seminars, sermon series, and small group curricula. Facts, facts, and more facts.

The questions that were once reserved for the academy are being asked in coffee shops and around dinner tables. The interrogation of fundamental Christian beliefs has become more common. At the same time, there seems to be an apathy toward truth claims. And although uncertainty about spiritual matters remains a badge of honor for pseudo progressives, the questions being asked are quickly changing.

Traditional questions about God’s existence and the resurrection of Christ are not always interesting to the “ex-vangelical.” Nor are our well-rehearsed facts to answer those questions. Their questions are birthed from social pressure. Their questions come from experiences. Winning their intellect doesn’t work when the culture is winning their hearts.

And while the traditional apologetic approach is necessary for building a strong foundation, it might be an irritating starting place for the unbeliever. Apologetics, as we know them, are not a good starting place.

CHRISTIAN, STOP APOLOGIZING!

I recently talked with a friend who is a clothing designer. He shared with me the growing difficulty he is having with New York City Instagram models wanting to have transgenders promote his clothing line.

“The conversations shut down as soon as I share my Christian convictions on the issue,” he told me.

Defending his Christian stance on sexuality is not helpful. It may be logical, and even scientific. But since their questions have evolved from social pressure and meaningful experiences, they must be met with something else.

“What if we tried a different approach to those conversations,” I suggested. “What about siding with the skeptic where we can?”

There is a growing trend toward critiquing truth claims that have either been around for a long time, or that seem repressive to progressive thought. It’s not entirely unwarranted. In fact, I think this is a great time for believers to listen to unbelievers, include their critique in the path forward, and transcend the “facts of the matter” with the experience of a transforming community. Apologetics then becomes a foundation for the believer’s confidence, but not the starting point for journeying with the skeptic.

CHRISTIAN, STOP APOLOGIZING!

Are there places where we can side with the skeptic? Are there valid critiques about our faith? Have we capitalized on certain dogmas and minimized the effect it has had on a certain groups of people? Of course, this has all happened.

Just last week, a friend asked why so many Christians are volunteer lobbyists for the right. I could give a Christian defense of my brothers and sisters and their inalienable rights. But instead, I decided to stop apologizing. I did what I mentioned above: Side with the skeptic when you can, include their critique in the path forward, and transcend the “facts of the matter” with the experience of a transforming community.

When siding with the skeptic, it’s important to listen for stereotypes and pain. People tend to stereotype groups of people who have caused a lot of pain in their lives. Acknowledge the lack of Christ’s compassion in their memories. Choose to not be like the disciple Thomas. You don’t have to probe their wounds to believe something hurtful has happened.

So many times, a person’s outcry against Christianity is rooted in an event of spiritual trauma masked as an apologetic objection. A few examples of this would be abuse of power, hypocrisy, and harmful cultures of shame. All are areas in which we can rightfully express frustration with them. There is nothing to defend here.

When including their critique in the path forward, help them imagine a world where those incongruities between who Jesus is and what they experienced don’t exist. Chances are, such a world is what Jesus envisioned when He instructed His disciples to pray for God’s kingdom “on earth as it is in heaven” (Matthew 6:10).

Skeptics are a gift in this way. They help us imagine a more just world where God’s interactions are without interference, where His grace does, in fact, cover a multitude of sins.

Apologetics have missed it on this point. We wield our knowledge of Scripture like a weapon, seeking to defeat the other side with knowledge and irrefutable arguments. What if we used our knowledge instead like a machete in a forest, clearing the path as we journey forward to Christ’s kingdom together?

When transcending facts with experience, it is all about community — a community that extends the tent pegs to welcome in the unbeliever. This sort of community finds a place at the table for the skeptic. It’s a “romance” of sorts when discussions of God are the bridge builder to life with God.

I use the term “romance” in the same way G.K. Chesterton did, to describe a deep feeling of desiring an active and imaginative life, full of wonder and curiosity, and needing a companion for the adventure. This is how Chesterton saw it in his famous work, Orthodoxy:

“To show that a faith or a philosophy is true from every standpoint would be too big an undertaking even for a much bigger book than this; it is necessary to follow one path of argument; and this is the path that I here propose to follow. I wish to set forth my faith as particularly answering this double spiritual need, the need for that mixture of the familiar and the unfamiliar which Christendom has rightly named romance.”

ONCE MORE, CHRISTIAN, STOP APOLOGIZING!

There is something that should happen, simultaneously, with cognitive unfolding and community inclusion. People should be included in community as they ask questions. All questions arise from a person, or about a person. They are driven mainly by the experiences we have. Experiences don’t need experts; they need to be engaged.

Christians and Conspiracy Theories

Do you think Christians should do everything they can to alleviate the doubts of others? Should we create new, unmerited frustrations about the world, or should we continue to battle the “father of lies” by bringing hopeful truth (John 8:44)?

The answer seems obvious: Alleviate doubt; don’t perpetuate it. If that is the general sentiment of Christians, why are many evangelicals perpetuating conspiracy theories that are not only fabricated but also downright dangerous?

“Whether it is the election being rigged, or a distrust around why we may all need to get a vaccine, conspiracy theories are doing the opposite of what the Christian life is about — namely, spreading truth and hope in love.”

As the Church, we claim to know the truth, and we commit our lives to sharing truth. Yet it’s quite a phenomenon that so many Christians believe in paranoia-inducing exaggerations and suspicions about the world. Whether it is the election being rigged, or a distrust around why we may all need to get a vaccine, conspiracy theories are doing the opposite of what the Christian life is about — namely, spreading truth and hope in love.

A 2014 article in the American Journal of Political Science identified two characteristics of people who are more likely to believe conspiracy claims. The first is belief in the supernatural. The second is a worldview that fixates on a good-versus-evil narrative.

Based on these criteria, Christians are susceptible to conspiratorial thinking. We believe the physical world we see, touch and experience is not the only world that exists. Additionally, we believe our fight is not against flesh and blood, but against evil principalities that can influence those who are in power.

For all intents and purposes, it is a good-versus-evil narrative for us. Any religious worldview is a natural breeding ground for conspiracy theories. In his book, Conspiracy Theories: A Primer, Joseph Uscinski defines conspiracy theories as “an explanation of past, present, or future events or circumstances that cites, as the primary cause, a conspiracy.” He goes on to say, “Conspiracy theories are inherently political. Conspiracy theories are accusatory ideas that could either be true or false, and they contradict the proclamations of epistemological authorities, assuming such proclamations exist.”

If that sounds like a familiar way of thinking for you or people close to you, let’s talk about what’s at stake, and what we need to do about it.

 What’s at Stake?

When Christians choose to spread conspiracies, we lose the credibility we need for the true, supernatural claims that matter. We are already fighting an uphill battle when it comes to convincing the world a Christian worldview is worth adopting. Conspiracy theories weaken our witness.

Imagine hearing QAnon claims from the same person who is telling you how to hear the voice of God. Imagine hearing about the election being rife with fraud from the same person who is telling you Jesus is the ultimate King.

Doctrines like the Second Coming, and heaven or hell, are already outlandish claims for people without a supernatural worldview. We cannot afford to create distrust in our relationships with them.

Not only does this hurt our mission, but it’s also not consist with it. Our mission is to spread the hope and love of Christ.

By comparison, conspiracy theories breed distrust, and they distract. Christians can become so focused on telling others about the fabricated corruption of earthly kingdoms and kings that they miss opportunities to encourage them to place their hope in the reality of the kingdom of God.

Plus, when government leaders are trying to act for the good of the people, conspiracy theories project an unnecessary distrust on them that stands in the way of good actually happening. I don’t know how many times I have had to tell other believers that Bill Gates is not trying to control the world population through a COVID-19 vaccine. 

Finally, conspiracy theories cloud our judgment. Have you ever noticed that people promoting conspiracy theories are always convinced they are on the noble side of the good-versus-evil battle? And they are convinced everyone else is on the wrong side.

Take the upcoming vaccine discussion as an example. This is a time for Christians to be thinking through the ethics of distribution, what it means to love our neighbors as ourselves, and how we will emerge as a society and a Church once herd immunity is reached through vaccination.

Instead, many Christians are busy talking about why theywill refuse any vaccine, and making those who are distributing it the villains. Such talk builds unnecessary distrust when we should be building a plan.

This calls for wisdom, discipleship, and a renewed emphasis on biblical teaching. Paul told Timothy to oppose false teachers who promoted “controversial speculations rather than advancing God’s work” (1 Timothy 1:4).

The integrity of the Christian worldview has always been that it is based on eyewitness testimony, not wild theories and existential hunches. We need to remind people of eternal realities that are of far greater importance than rumors, opinions, and suspicions.

As James 3:6 reminds us, “The tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness. The tongue is set among our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the entire course of life, and set on fire by hell” (ESV).

The flow of conspiracy theories often feels like a fire. It spreads fear, demonizes people who don’t think like us, and hinders the gospel — the truth about Jesus that sets people free (John 8:32).